Scattered Aurora

Another night to wade through
Another darkness to conquer
Another memory to forget
Another weakness to subdue
A mocking moon above me
A cold barrenness below
A mind in between
Condemned to suffer
A crumpled body shudders
With tears unshed
When wishes come rushing back
To cuddle me close
Of a past that was
And a future that could be
Another night, long forgotten
Beckons me at last
To a time spent in your arms
And another of whispered love
Of soft kisses and heartfelt vows
And i curse myself for yearning
To feel your warmth again
To hear your voice again
To believe your love again
So I snatch back my open arms
And curl into an unforgiving ball
Accepting once more
That this night too will pass alone

A drop of blood was split tonight
and a thousand memories lost with a sigh
of a well-knit past
and a dreamy future
for a today tangled with shadows and light
a virgin's blood they call it
a gift of faith i say
yet they only see
a teardrop of crimson staining the purity of white
an innocence left behind
a virtue shed like a flimsy cloak
so be it
i take back my gift
and call it the sacrifice they so desire
But with the new name
my heart swells with vanity
and my brain with fear
"Doth thou deserve me?"
My fear cried
"wilst thy honor me?"
my vanity cried
Yet from the depths of my soul came a voice
"let my sacrifice be enough to make a difference"

On a night long ago
i rode to the shore on a wave of lost hopes
to be discarded there like a ship-wrecked plank
and on the sands of time
i stood like a lost soul
with no clue of the path to take
with no desire to lend me strength
i flailed weakly between regrets and fear
i moved back towards the sea
stopped
i moved away from the sea
in a quandary
afraid of drowning and suspicious of surviving
one step forward and one step back
and in this cowardly prance
i stumbled on a root of the present
and falling to the ground i closed my eyes
and let the hand of fate decide my destiny
eons later
i opened my eyes and faced the world
the sea had long ago faded
but so had my yearning for the past
and i moved back
further away from the sea
yet facing it still
strong yet never too invulnerable
a survivor yet never the savior
a conqueror yet never a king

I'm like a bird...
Let me fly...
Don't lasso me to your realities...
I'd just not fit...
Let me be free...
Don't chain me by your hopes...
I'm not yours...
I belong to no one...
Only the open skies may be called my haven...
And the whole world my home...
And only death may claim me...
For in life...
My soul yearns for freedom alone...
These gilded bars are not for me...
Those golden cages are not my home...
So set me loose...
From these invisible cells...
And see me ride on the wind...
And do it with a happy heart...
For i will never forget you...
Nor ever not look back...
And one day I will come back...
But let me sit on the branch outside...
Not on the shining perches of those prisons...
And let me help you...
To experience the magic of my freedom...
To share with me the love of my soul...
So set me free today...
For my place is not in shackles.

This post is dedicated to Aima who gave me a hint of being slightly interested in my blog and Bunny who shares my bane of hating misery-causing motorcycles while driving.

Yes, I've finally started driving again!! weeeeeee!! *hopping around on my chair*

After a deep, intense contemplation of a few months (read: an entire year) about me hitting the roads (quite literally), the driving fever finally struck me and my driver's worst nightmare came true! And to my poor drivers horror, i assigned him to the back seat (literally again) and took the wheel (and again). After an uneventfully stable first-half, I smoothly regained my ability to keep my fellow passengers clutching the edges of the seats with a transformation to a scary and heart-in-the-mouth maniacal driving. (Hey, I'm a really good driver, I just plopped in a few "hitch-stunts" for my dear sis's sake! Oh wow! my nose didn't grow =P)

Anywho, not only have i brushed up on my driving skills, i have also touched up on my hatred of motorbikes on the road, swerving across the road as you please. Seriously if I hadn't been attending my anger-management classes, a lot of the roads would have been free of these annoying idiots! I had a pathetic excuse for a bike swaying across my path like an irritating fly buzzing around your face when you're sleeping....pesky i tell you! Did i want to squash that pest or what! Swat him from behind and then squelch the pulpy bugger under my tyres!!
But more than those bikes, i hate those blue scooters. And i had my share of those too today. It's most likely being driven by an uncle who prefers to drive right in the middle of the road in front of your car and has an uncanny ability to anticipate and counter any sudden moves on your part to overtake him. So, you get to drive like a timid little puppy on a leash and trust me its not a happy feeling even if you pretend to be a cute little black lab.